Anymore
by SherKay
Summary: (JC) From a series of letters to a story. Rated PG just to be sure! Fifteen up! sorry it took so long!
1. Anymore

Anymore

Written by: Kalyn of Sherrkay

Pairing: J/C DUH!!!

Summery: Chakotay writes Kathryn a letter.

Disclaimer: we don't own them we just make our favorite couple lives better!!!!! Oh yeah and the song this is based on is Anymore by Travis Tritt  
A/N: KayB and I (honney862002) have decided to team up together and write our fanfic together. We hope you enjoy!

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My Dearest Kathryn,

I can't hide the way I feel about you anymore. I've hid it for the past 5 years, ever since New Earth. I've tried to hold all the hurt inside, tried not to let you see the pain in my eyes every time you pushed me away. I can't do it anymore Kathryn.

I can no longer keep the tears from falling. All the times you've flirted with me, made me believe you truly loved me, truly wanted me. My resistance is not that strong anymore. In my mind I keep creating a life, my life, with only you to love. A life where you love me back.

I've tried to ignore it, tried to say I was over you. I was lying to myself. Kathryn, I cant keep pretending that I don't love you anymore.

Please let me make one last appeal, my sweet Kathryn. Please let me show you how I feel about you. I've tried dating other women as you well know. I even allowed myself to believe I was falling in love with them. But in time I understood that they couldn't replace what I felt for you.

I swear there is no one that could hold a candle anywhere next to you my love. My heart can no longer take the beating you're invoking on me. The one thing I want the most and that you'll never allow me to have, is to hold you tightly in my arms, to make you feel all the love I have for you.

There's a small voice inside my sole that keeps telling me I cant go on like this. It tells me to stop pretending that I'm not in love with you anymore.

I know you probably don't want to hear any of this. I also know you'll tell me to get on with my life. That's why I have to take this chance and not let it pass by. If you truly love someone Kathryn, you should say it before the moment passes you by.

I'll never get on with my life if I just let you go without even knowing what a relationship would be like with you. Without knowing what it would be like to truly love you as I have only dreamed of. To make love to you as I have wanted to since the night on New Earth when I told you the legend. Do you remember it Kathryn? Or has it been too long ago?

Please don't push me away again. Don't throw protocol up in my face. Please allow me to be all you need, to make your burden lighter like I promised to all those years ago.

Until that day, I'll be faithfully yours,

Chakotay


	2. Yours Alone

Anymore

Written by: Sher of SherKay (aka KayB)

Pairing: J/C …

Summery: Kathryn writes back.

Disclaimer: We're just going where TPTB have never been before – with a little more good old-fashioned romance than they're accustomed to.

A/N: I (KayB) don't know if this is very Kathryn Janeway-at-her-deepest, but I tried. Kay (aka Honney862002) managed to go a great job though, don't yall think? applause

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Chapter 2: Yours Alone.

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Kathryn Janeway sat back in her chair

"Oh Chakotay."

_What happened to the 'some barriers we never crossed'? And when did we cross them? Was it when we first met the Borg, or was that too soon? Maybe you crossed it alone and I joined you later. Maybe… I don't know. But I hope this answers your question Chakotay, in more than one way… I do remember – I'll always remember and probably hate myself for not surrendering to New Earth. _

_But you must know… I can't… I just can't. Too many people have I loved. Too many people have I allowed to get close, only to lose them later, my father, Justin and then Kes. Maybe that's why Mark was best for me, but Chakotay, I don't want to lose you. I don't want to lose any of you, which is why I'm content enough to watch, to listen, and to love from afar._

_I have always told you it was protocol. I lied. Maybe I'm destined to turn into The Admiral after all. It's what I've always wanted. Starfleet's what I've always wanted. So, why am I so unhappy? _

_But if you can find any happiness with Seven, any happiness at all - I implore you to stay with her. I love you Chakotay. I love you, and that's why I don't want to lose you. They say love hurts… and it's hurting me, most of all. A small part of me hopes you can say something to change my mind, but how can you promise me that you will never go away? _

_Your,_

_Kathryn. _

"Computer, delet… no, wait… belay that."

Tbc….


	3. Only Time Will Tell

Anymore

Written by: Kay of Sherrkay

Pairing: J/C who else????

Summery: Chakotay tries to give Kathryn a promise to hold on to.

Disclamer: as in the first 2 chapters, we don't own them, we just like to mess with their minds and let them have the fun TPTB wouldn't let them have: 8)

A/N : ok let's give a round of applause to Sher for her awesome writing talents used on her chapter in our story!

Only Time Will Tell

Chakotay sat there in silence as he reread the letter. It was fear just as he expected. She was scared she would loose him just as she had lost everyone else.

She was right on one thing, he crossed those barriers along time ago, he was just waiting for her to follow him across. He knew in his heart that time was all they needed to make this relationship work, and he knew that only time would tell how ready she was to go through with it. He had waited this long for her, he could wait a little longer if she needed him to.

He sat down at his desk and got an old fashion pen and paper and began to write the words down that were spoken so long ago:

'_**The angry warrior swore to himself that he would stay by her side, doing whatever he could to make her burden lighter. From that point on her needs would come first, and in that way, the warrior began to know the true meaning of peace.' **_

_**Kathryn,**_

_**I spoke these words to you all those years ago, and you said you remembered them. Just as I meant them then, I mean them now even more. I cant promise you that I will be around forever, because one day I will fade away from this life, but one place I will never fade away from is in your heart. You say you're content to love from afar but in reality Kathryn, you are as lonely and miserable as I am. **_

_**You asked why you were so unhappy. Kathryn you are unhappy because you make yourself that way. Can't you see? We are supposed to be together. We are sole mates Kathryn. Pure and simple. **_

_**I could fool myself into acting like I am in love with Seven but I could never truly be when I have my heart promised to someone else. I'm in love with you Kathryn, not Seven. I can tell you this; I too know that love hurts. Do you think it didn't kill me to see you hurting after telling you about Seven and I? Or better yet, every time you found out about my little flings I had. Or when you locked yourself up when we were trapped inside that void? Kathryn it killed me. It killed me because I love you so much… My Kathryn… did you think I wouldn't notice that? Deep in your heart I know you want to be with me… just as much as I want to be with you. **_

_**There is nothing I can say to change your mind if it's already made up, but remember this, I too would be taking a chance… I too might loose the one thing in this universe that matters to me. But im willing to work around my fears if you would be willing to work around yours.**_

_**I've told you all along we would face it together and that you were not alone… that I would stand by your side and make your burdens lighter… please let me fulfill that promise.**_

_**I'm waiting on you.**_

_**Chakotay**_

Computer: transport the paper on my desk to Captain Janeway's readyroom.


	4. Ancient Legend

Anymore

Written by: Sher of Sherkay

Pairing: J/C

Summary: Kathryn replies… but she gets interrupted…

Disclamer: Oh man, something Kay said really cracked me up. If Kathryn were real, boy would she be one really messed up individual, what with all the 'messing about' we've been doing with their heads. –says solemnly- Which is why, it is probably wise that we only borrow them from TPTB and put them back with their memories erased each time.. And we each loan them out each time we need them… erm, that's my way of saying I don't own them…. Sorry, I think I've had too much chocolate today.

A/N : As usually props to Kayln for another chapter well done!

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Chapter Four – Ancient Legend

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Kathryn's body jerked as the Padd tumbled out of her delicate fingers. She crossed her office to stare out the window, God, how she missed those Delta Quadrant stars streaming by. She shuddered again, this time because of the Goosebumps crawling up her neck.

She closed her eyes, savouring his words still floating in her head. She leaned back into emptiness. Devoid of the rock she was so used to having there, her eyes fluttered open. For a moment she caught his reflection in the glass, and everything was as it should have been. "Chakotay," she breathed silently.

_Chakotay…_

_I don't know what to say – I don't know what exactly to do, but I _can_ tell you that I can't seem to come up with anymore excuses that Tuvok couldn't disprove. So, I'll try your way instead…_

_There was once a little bird, a Goldenbird and she loved her family- she loved them all, but she exceptionally loved her father. She constantly sought for his attention and love and yet he hardly noticed her. The more he missed out on, the harder she tried. Then one day he died. He died and she could do nothing to save him. It broke her heart and she suffered greatly… she still suffers to this day, but as she watched him sink below the ice caps of the plane… the place, they were flying over, she vowed to herself that she would do everything she could to make her father proud and she thought that maybe in that way, she could… she could be at peace with herself… _

Kathryn's voice cracked into a sob. How many more times would she relive this story, how many times did she had to go through the cold – the pain. But she needed to go on, she wanted Chakotay to know.

… _so she like her father decided to fly all over the world to do what he would have liked to do, what he would have liked her to do. It was what she had learnt to enjoy and she met many people. So many people, but when she got lost – it was amongst strangers. There was one… eagle… an eagle to her Goldenbird. He was brave, strong, committed and like herself un…content, but when she laid eyes on him, she realised she had found her peace. And it was wrong. Peace was supposed to be where her father was… peace was making him happy, fulfilling his dreams, peace was at the end of the line when she could stand there and say that she was where her father wanted her to be. So, she turned him away….._

_Eventually, she reached that place. Her father's place, but what she had once enjoyed had turned into… well, let's just say the eagle had taught her so much more… so much that he had a special place in her heart. She was afraid, afraid she had lost sight of her goals and afraid that he might take such a big place in her heart that her father might be forgotten, but the eagle told this Goldenbird that he would wait for her. Wait for her to be content with herself and the place he had in her heart because it had always been his to have…_

_And in that way, the Goldenbird learnt to tell the Eagle that it…_

"Admiral?"

Kathryn turned to face the doorway, "Oh," she gasped, "Lunch with Captain Picard, I forgot. Um, give me a moment; tell him I'll be right there."

"Yes ma'am."

Kathryn swallowed as she watched her assistant leave the room. She glanced at the blinking light on the console, noting that the message hadn't been completed.

"Resume." She croaked. The moment was lost, but the message was not…

_Enough going about this roundabout way, you're done waiting Chakotay…._

_Kath_


	5. Finally At Home

Anymore

Written by: Kay of Sherrkay

Pairing: I think you got the picture! ;)

Summery: The waiting is over

Disclaimer: ok so yeah it's probably our secret desire to own them and get everyone's favorite couple together but we don't… because if we did, we would be rich!!! Especially from all the JetCers there are out there for getting them together!!! J/k!

A/N : as per usual Sher did an awesome job! Right? Lets hear it!!!!!

A/N 2: I wasn't really sure how to reply back to this one but here are my feeble efforts!

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Chapter 5— Finally at Home

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He couldn't believe what he just read. "Done waiting" could that actually mean she was ready? Would she actually be willing to pursue the relationship he had been waiting seven years for? Give him all the love he knew she possessed in her heart for him? Allow him to love her like he has dreamed about all this time? There was only one way to find out. He sat down at his console and began the note:

_**My Dearest Goldenbird,**_

_**I understand completely what you are trying to say. I know you love me. You know I love you. Kathryn, we are perfect together. I will be your rock when you are on shaky ground, I'll be your strength when you are weak, together there is nothing we cannot do, my precious Kathryn. **_

_**Please come to my quarters tonight at 0900 hours. I have something I want to show you. **_

_**All my love,**_

_**Your Eagle**_

After sending her the letter he realized he had only 6 hours in which to prepare everything in. He knew she was at lunch with Captain Picard today so hopefully he would have just enough time to make it work.

He needed to find just the right music, food, wine. Yes indeed he had a lot of work to do.

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tbc


	6. SeTara VI

Anymore

Written by: Sher of Sherkay

Pairing: Janeway/Chakotay…

Summery: They're together, but how to things go from there… we peek into their relationship (I know it isn't very nice of us, but what the heck!)

Disclaimer: As usual, we'll put them back when we're done with them… memories wiped and everything

A/N : Boy did Kayln's bril Chapter leave me in an awkward situation, but I did what I could… to let me know what you thought, just hit that little button which says 'submit review' – thanks!

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Chapter 6 SeTara VI

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Kathryn Janeway took a deep breath as she pressed the door bell. She shuddered as she released it. The great Kathryn Janeway who had faced the Kazon, Hydrogen and even the Borg was afraid of coming face to face with the man she loved – the man she had finally allowed herself to love. It would be their first 'date' – though how many dates they'd had before, she didn't know. What she did know, was that she wholeheartedly wanted to be here today and despite the klaxons going off in her head telling her to turn around before it was too late, she was too stubborn even to give in to herself.

She stood there thinking for so long, that only when Chakotay's neighbour walked past giving her a weird look, did she realise he hadn't answered the door.

"Chakotay," she called and rang the doorbell again. Panic rose in her heart, hadn't Chakotay waited as long as she had for this, maybe even longer. He had always silently pushed for a relationship on board – maybe… maybe this was some sort of payback.

"Chakotay's not like that," she whispered to herself. Maybe something happened to him.

"Chakotay." Without thinking, her hand moved over the keypad, entering an access code, she knew all too well. How many times had she let herself in for dinner, how many times had she stopped by to borrow a book when he wasn't there – she was only surprised he hadn't changed it!

Moonlight streamed into the living room, lighting it up so she could just about weave her way through the furniture, "Chakotay?" she called again, senses heightened, in case someone was waiting to ambush her. Training told her to search the house, but pictures on the mantelpiece distracted her. There lined up neatly, were many pictures of the Voyager crew: the crew at parties, the senior staff in the mess-hall, the small after-party they'd had after the Paris-Torres wedding. But the one that stuck out the most was one of the two of them together, at some formal engagement on SeTara VI, one of the many planets they'd visited. She didn't remember what the event was, or even the species name, were they SeTarians? She didn't think so, but she did remember taking the picture.

The species, she remembered, had really known how to throw a party. The whole crew wanted to attend, but she had wanted to stay on board, saying that if the ship was going to run on a skeleton crew, the Captain should be there in case of an emergency. She was the only one of maybe two crewmembers who could issue commands, help in engineering and pilot the ship, but Chakotay had made her go. "No one's going to attack Voyager, we're safe here. We can programme the ship to beam us up at the first sign of danger." Reluctantly, she had agreed and had ended up having a wonderful time. So wonderful, she had openly flirted with him, she remembered admonishing herself furiously when he'd left her in her quarters later that night. But at that party, when the Doctor had taken the picture, the only thing she'd seen, was him. And the picture clearly showed that. She was leaning into him, one arm firmly grasping the one he held around her waist and was looking up into his eyes, sharing some joke. And he… he was looking down at her, straight into her eyes, as though she were the only one he could see in the crowded room. She was amazed at how perfect they looked together, how they seemed to fit against each other. She had never before seen such happiness in herself and could never remember having ever recalled such a memory with fondness.

Slowly she made her way through the living room, to the bedroom. Why would her leave her suddenly, had he been kidnapped? She knew there were some people who were against Starfleet for having let the Maquis free, but those people were minimalists, mainly made up of people who were angry at losing their loved ones, but most of them now realised that they were doing what they believed in and Starfleet had issued a statement saying the hadn't realised the seriousness of the case with the Cardassians. If anyone should be angry at anyone, it should be with the 'Fleet.

Her heart quickened with each pace she took. Why now, why when she and Chakotay were finally getting together? Why not someone else, like Admiral Hayes who deserved it? Why did these things always happen to her? Could no one allow her to be happy?

"Chakotay," she breathed a sigh of relief as she saw the small rise and fall of a figure on his bed. "Chakotay," she ran over to him. "Oh, thank God you're alright."

"Kathryn?" he asked groggily. "Is that you, you're early… I was just laying here for five minutes, I've got everything ready."

She laughed; more of happiness at finding him safe that at his actual words. "Oh thank God you're alright," she repeated, tenderly touching his cheek. "I though… oh, I don't know what I thought…"

He seemed to get his bearings, "What's wrong?" he asked, noting her half agitated state.

"You didn't answer the door… I thought… well, I assumed… I don't know what I thought." She allowed him to scoop her up in his arms, while she rested her head on his chest.

"Well it's nice for a man to know he has someone to worry about him."

"Oh, I always worried about you; you don't know how much it hurt to send you on those away missions. When you got trapped in a shuttle, when you lay there in sickbay," her body racked with sobs as all those memories hit her. "When I thought you would die and you would never know I retuned those feelings for you."

"Shhh, Kathryn, it's okay… I don't want you to ever have to worry about a thing again, you've spent much too long of your life crying." He took her hands in his.

"I feel silly," she admitted as she brushed away a tear with the back of her hand. "I don't know how long its been since I last cried."

"Well, maybe I know what'll cheer you up."

"A surprise?" her eyes brightened up immediately, "You did say something about a surprise… Chakotay… what surprise… is it something I know about, something I want… where are you going? Where is it, is it big? Because if it's big, I haven't seen anything big anywhere... is it small. How small, so small you could keep it in your pocket… Chakotay," she called as she ran after him, trying to slip her hands into his pockets. He laughed as he pulled her towards him, slipping one hand around her waist. Instinctively, she covered it with hers, giggling as their eyes met… and for a moment that same image as the one taken on SeTara VI was recreated.

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A/N : See that little button's right there…. :points below:


	7. The Suprise

Anymore

Written by: Kay of Sherkay

Pairing: Must you ask???

Summery: what is the surprise? Well I'm not going to tell you because you have to read it for yourself…

Disclaimer: Nope, nada, zilch! Like I said we don't own them!!!!!!

A/N : ok so this is going to be a little difficult to write but here goes nothing!!!!

Chap.7- The Surprise

…_and for a moment that shame image as the one taken on SeTara VI was recreated…_

He looked lovingly into her deep blue eyes as they stood there side by side in his living room. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest as she anticipated what he was about to do.

"Kathryn" he whispered as his lips lowered down upon hers.

They stood there for what seemed an eternity before they broke the kiss off.

"Wow" was all she could say until they burst out giggling again. She couldn't believe she had waited this long to finally kiss him. And she finally knew what she was missing out on.

" If I had known it was that good I would have kissed you years ago." She found herself saying. Chakotay laughed at this and hugged her tight.

"I love you Kathryn." Her heart felt like it skipped a beat at hearing those words she had only dreamed of him saying.

"I love you too, but if I'm not mistaken, you promised me a surprise." He laughed at her expression because at that very moment she was looking too much like Tuvok for her own good.

" What do you think your laughing at Mister?" she asked with an edge to her voice.

"Just how much you looked like Tuvok just now." This earned him a playful punch in the ribs. "and as for your surprise, if you would walk this way my love."

He led her into the living room where he had set up the table with a beautiful hunter green table cloth, candles, wine glasses and plates. He called for lights on half illumination and lit the candels. He went to the replactor and punched in the order. Within seconds a wonderful aroma filled the air.

Kathryn laughed." So, lets see here. You have candles, half lights and wine. Seems to me like your trying to recreate an evening on Voyager."

"No," he said, " this is going to be so much more."

He began serving her what he knew was one of her favorite meals he cooked for her on New Earth. Vegetarian Lasagna. He wanted this night to be special.

About half way through the meal he stopped eating and looked at her. To him she had never appeared more beautiful.

" You know you can have your surprise when you are done eating."

He had never in the seven and a half years he'd known her seen Kathryn Janeway eat that quickly. Within five Minuets, her plate was clean.

"Ok. So where is it?" she asked.

"Finished already? Alright, come here." She obeyed and he wrapped a blindfold around eyes. After he finished tying it around her head, he walked in front of her and kissed the tip of her nose.

"Are you ready?" he whispered. At the nod of her head, he took her hands in his and lead her into his bathroom, where the lights had been dimmed and candle light was reflecting off the walls. When he placed her hands on a solid wood surface a slight smile crossed her face.

"What is this Chakotay?" she asked with a hint of amusement in her voice.

"Are you sure you are ready?" At this comment she placed her hands on her hips. "Ok I'll take that as as yes." he replied.

He stepped up behind her and untied the blindfold. As it fell away, a slight gasp escaped her lips. There before her stood the bathtub he had built for her all those years ago on a little uninhabited planet thousands of light years away they knew as New Earth.

"Chakotay! How did you?"

" I replicated the materials and placed it together this morning. The piece of wood you have your hands on is the only thing that's not replicated. It is from the original. I took it that morning before we left. To remind me of New Earth, and the promise i made to you."

When he finished she looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

"I love you." she stated as tears rolled down her cheeks. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and kissed him lightly on the lips.

TBC!!  
A/N sorry it took so long. I couldn't find the time to type it out. I always had something else to do. Any ways R&R and have a great day!


	8. Sand Paintings

Anymore

Written by: Sher of Sherkay

Pairing: J/C… although if you read this far, if should be obvious winks

Summery/ A/N: Uh at this point in time, 5 seconds after I've opened up Word – I have absolutely no idea, so you'll just have to read on.

Disclaimer: We own the love (and so do all u J/C writers out there – props to you) ((sorry too much American Idol))

Chapter 8 – Unwritten.

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"I swear that bathtub is bigger than it was before," said Kathryn Janeway as she exited the bathroom, tightening her robe around her.

"Yeah, I designed it so we could fit the monkey in as well."

Kathryn wrinkled her nose. "The only dirt I intend to have in my water is yours." She winked suggestively before sauntering out of the bedroom.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me." Kathryn poured herself a cup of coffee. "Want one?"

He shook his head, "As far as I recall, my half of the shelter was always cleanest."

"That would be because you sat in my half when you did those sand paintings of yours."

"I thought you liked those sand paintings."

"I did."

"You did?"

"I did," she affirmed.

"Pity we didn't keep any."

"Oh Chakotay, don't be silly. Of course I kept the painting." She paused, "Although I did consider burning it that time you and…."

"Seven?"

"Yes Seven."

"Oh Kath…"

"It's alright Chakotay, I read the letter."

"Mmm, I liked _my_ letter."

"Letters, there were at least two."

"It was the second one I liked the best."

"That was just yesterday." She gasped. "Feels like ages ago."

"Computer two bowls of Nestle Coco-Crunch." Chakotay picked the bowls off the replicator.

"Coco-Crunch, what's that… oh chocolate…" Kathryn reached for the bowl.

"Magic word?"

"Don't you mean magic action?" she asked, as she kissed him lightly on the lips.

"I'll settle for that."

She spooned the food into her mouth.

"I'm thinking of framing those letters. Our grandchildren will know the plight their grandfather suffered to win the love of his life."

"Is that what you tell every girl you meet?"

"Only ones that stare me out in the middle of the Delta Quadrant."

"Can't be many loves of your life then."

"Only one."

Kathryn laughed; amazed at her ability to flirt so openly with a man she had tried to be so cautious around. She was enjoying this… she felt younger than she had in years. The day couldn't get any better.

"I'll get that, you go and change," Chakotay urged her in the direction of the bedroom as the doorbell rang.

"Okay," she called. "You know what."

"What?" he asked.

"Your bathrobe is so comfortable. I mean, why don't they make these great towely robes for women anyway. You can hardly find them anymore, all you get are those soft, silky thin ones," Kathryn emerged from the bedroom. "B'Elanna…" She grinned sheepishly, "Hi."

"Captain," B'Elanna nodded testily.

Kathryn shot Chakotay a confused look.

"I forgot to mention I had a lunch date with 'Lanna today."

"Oh ok, you two go ahead, I should get back to the office anyway."

"It's Sunday, Kathryn."

"Wars don't avoid themselves because it's Sunday, Chakotay."

"Wars will happen if Admirals snap at –"

"Oh," gasped B'Elanna suddenly.

"What?" Admiral and her ex-first officer turned to look at their ex-chief engineer.

"Admiral… I called you Captain."

"Don't worry about it. It's about time you started calling me Kathryn anyway."

"Alright… Kathryn." B'Elanna grinned, "Why don't you come with us?" Momentarily startled B'Elanna hadn't known what to day to them, but after the initial shock had finally recovered her ground.

"How's Miral?" asked Kathryn, as she poured B'Elanna a cup of tea.

"Fine. She's started walking."

"Oh, how sweet," Kathryn smiled. "I'd love to see her."

"Why don't you come over after lunch?"

"I don't know… Chakotay… I'm… I don't know. Chakotay," she called to Chakotay who had decided it was his turn to change into something more acceptable for outside wear.

"Sounds good to me."

Tbc….

A/N: I actually meant to do something else with this… okay, so I did have a little idea of where this chapter would go when I started, but it turned out completely different. But it was a good idea… and now I can only use it if Kayln writes the story so it'll fit. (Don worry about it though Kay, it's all part of that fun…)

A/N: ps: bril chap… sooo sweet!


	9. Diner for 3

Anymore

Written by: Kay of Sherkay

Pairing: Duh…who else?

Summery: I my self cant tell so how can I explain it?

Disclaimer: Need we say it again? We don't own any of them b/c if we did we would be rich!

Chapter 9- Dinner for 3

"Sounds good to me." She said excitedly as she headed for the door, "I'll meet you and Chakotay at the restaurant in shall we say 20 minuets?" Be'Lanna was grinning from ear to ear. Was she really witnessing what she thought she was? After all this time, after all the failed attempts to bring them together, was it really happening?

" That should be ok." Kathryn was saying, not failing to notice the look on her ex-chief engineer, "I'll let Chakotay know."

"Alright see you then." She said as she turned to leave. She deffantly needed to talk to Tom now. If they would be on Voyager the betting pools would be ecstatic right now. And she just might've been the one rolling in the rations.

_back at Chakotay's place_

"You should've seen the look on her face Chakotay!" Kathryn was saying through the closed door. She couldn't quit laughing ever since Be'Lanna left the house. "I'm guessing a certain Helmsman will be hearing about this very soon."

At that time Chakotay opened the door with a worried look on his face.

" What's wrong my love?" she asked, worried that he might not want to go through with this relationship now. " Did I say something wrong?"

He wrapped his arms around her waist. "No there's nothing wrong. I'm just concerned about you. Are you sure you don't mind the others knowing?"

If he hadn't been so serious, Janeway would have laughed. Instead she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and drew him down for a deep, loving kiss. When they broke it off she leaned her head on his shoulder.

" Does that answer your questions?" she asked. He could hear the love in her voice, and to him it was the sweetest sound he had ever heard.

They were ready and out the door within 15 minuets. Which gave them 5 minuets to transport to the restaurant. Kathryn's stomach was doing flips by the time they rematerialized and walked in the door. Im a corner booth sat Be'Lanna waveing at them.

"Glad you could finally make it. You're 5 minuets late." She had a mischievous look in her eyes that told Kathryn she deffaintly knew something was up.

"Well youre a married woman. You know how it is." Kathryn threw back. This made her choke on her drink. Chakotay looked just as stunned.

"So I was right. You two **_finally_ **got it togetherand done the right thing."

TBC…….

A/n: ok I know it's short but I could NOT think of anything! Two thumbs up to Sher (who I have named Janeway for her outstanding pool playing skills) for her chap! Let's keep up the good work Chicka! LYLAS! Neways RR and let us know what u guys think!


	10. Slip of the Tongue

Anymore

Written by: Sher of Sherkay

Pairing: J/C!

Disclaimer: These Disclaimer things always make me realize how grateful we should be to TPTB and Kate Mulgrew for not getting J and C together, because it's made so many of us become friends and I'm betting if they had (put J/C together) then there wouldn't be as many stories where we could let our imaginations run wild. I can't believe I'm saying this, but Props to J/C.

Chapter 9- Slip of the Tongue

Chakotay had never felt so utterly happy before, but a small part of him wished they hadn't agreed to spend the day with B'Elanna and Miral. He could think of a hundred things he would rather have been doing with Kathryn, from just holding her in his arms to the things he wished he had done on New Earth.

He looked up from the newspaper he was pretending to read, to watch Kathryn playing with Miral in her lap.

"Have you seen all the magazines we're in?" asked B'Elanna slumping down in a chair opposite Chakotay. "I mean, you'd think after almost six months the excitement would've died down."

"Tell me about it. I needed an armed escort to get out of HQ yesterday. It's amazing they're not camped outside our apartments."

Chakotay nodded pointing to the newspaper, "Look, here we are again… it's about our next reunion."

"Next reunion… we haven't even been back a year." Kathryn still holding Miral walked over to Chakotay's end of the room. "What will Captain Janeway wear to the first ever Voyager reunion?" She red aloud as she perched herself on the arm rest of the sofa. As though some sort of reaction, Chakotay's arm went out to steady her.

B'Elanna sighed at the picture before her. Kathryn was reading over Chakotay's shoulder, balancing a restless Miral on her lap. Chakotay's arm help her tightly around the waist and B'Elanna could see Kathryn's other free hand was playing with a loose thread on his sweater.

"I'm home," the door slammed close behind a frazzled Tom Paris. Immediately Kathryn got up and shifted Miral to her hips.

"Look who's here," said B'Elanna as she allowed her husband a quick kiss.

"Hi, Tom," Kathryn gave her ex-chief pilot a quirky grin. B'Elanna swore the Captain was blushing, slightly.

"Gaaaa," said Miral holding out her arms to her father. As Tom gave Kathryn a quick kiss on the cheek, Miral decided it was best to stay with her Aunt Kathryn. She shook her head when her father tried to take her out of Kathryn's safe arms.

"She'll want to go home with you next," said B'Elanna, secretly enjoying the little freedom Kathryn was giving her.

"No, I don't think so. She loves her mother too much… right Miral?" Kathryn nodded to the child. Miral mimicked the older women's actions.

"I'm just going to change out of the suit, I'll be right back."

"I'll get some coffee," B'Elanna offered. "I'm sure you'd like another cup Cap… Ad… Kathryn."

"Mmm" Kathryn sighed. "Thank you very much."

"You really should cut down Kathryn," Chakotay reminded her.

Kathryn rolled her eyes at B'Elanna who walked into the kitchen. "Here, get to know your wife's goddaughter, while I help 'Lanna."

Only as she sauntered to the kitchen, did she realize what she'd said.

"_Wife_, Kathryn?"

Kathryn looked frazzled. "Slip of the tongue. I know we're taking things slowly, I'm sorry."

"No, Kath… I…"

"So Captain, Chakotay… what brings BOTH of you here on the same day?" Tom wiggled his eyes suggestively as he watched the command team look anywhere but at him.

"Nice carpet," the Captain whispered hoarsely.

-

A/N: Not a particularly good Chapter, I think, but bare with me…. The 'idea' mill wasn't churning so well today.


	11. Meanwhile At The BatCave

Anymore

Written by: Kay of Sherkay

Pairing: Are you really asking us this question?

Disclaimer: ok if I must say; we, me nor Sherr, own ANYTHING! We only own the story! I don't even own Batman who is mentioned in this chap.

A/N: I am so sorry this took so long to get up and going! I am a big procrastinator! Plus with work I never have the time to get online! So R&R and have a good time

Chapter11: Meanwhile At the BatCave

They stayed at the Paris's house for most of the night, both of them afraid of another slip like the one they had earlier. Kathryn felt so stupid. Here they had only just begun their relationship and she already called herself his wife. They hadn't even discussed moving in together.

They watched several shows on Tom's television set. The Batman series was probably the dumbest but yet it was funny at the same time. Kathryn couldn't help but daydream about her Angry Warrior being the super hero and her the one in distress, just imagining his strong arms wrapped around her resceuing her from the Joker.

Bye the time they went home it was late. She wondered if he would invite her into his apartment but the offer never came. All she got was a light kiss on the cheek and a "I'll see you in the morning."

As she walked away she felt the tears begin to run down her cheeks. How could she have been so stupid in saying that? Why did she go and scare him off? She thought she would finally get her chance to be happy and now she screwed it up.

She acted to childish. That's the bottom line. She needed to act more like an adult instead of a lovesick teenager.

When she got home she went straight into her room, bypassing her computer terminal, slipped into her nightgown and going straight to bed. She never noticed the red light blinking on her screen.

Tbc

A/n: ok I know its short but I really couldn't think of anymore! R&R!


	12. One Step At A Time

Anymore

Written by: Sher of Sherkay

Pairing: J/C and C/J

Disclaimer: I don't own Kathryn Janeway or Chakotay… or the Darren Hayes song I Want You.

A/N: Hey 'yall. I haven't been well – so I just want to say to Kay 'I'M ALIVE AGAIN'

Chapter11: One step at a time. 

Kathryn washed her face and stared herself in the mirror, never taking her gaze off her reflection, daring her image to move first. "'Morning" she rasped to herself, suddenly remembering why crying before bed had always been on her 'not to do' list.

"Coffee," was the next thing she said, stumbling out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. Only after her first two sips did she look at the chronometer on the wall, thankful that it was well before she had to be at work. "Romance was never your forte Janeway," she admonished herself silently. She felt like a drunken teenager after a night of partying.

It was only when she regained her stamina did she notice the blinking red light on her console.

_Kathryn_, it said. Not even a 'dear Kathryn' or 'my Kath'

_Thank you for a lovely evening. _

_Chakotay. _

"That's it?" She asked out loud.

"It is if you want it to be."

Kathryn looked up, anger flashed in her eyes "I suppose _you_ think this is funny? Who are _you_ to toy with me?"

He ignored her. "I want to know this is real Kathryn. I want to know you're not going to turn your back on me for 'Fleet. I want to know we feel the same things. I _don't _want to see a look of horror on your face when I say 'wife' and I _don't_ want to waste my life away waiting for you, and yet, strangely – I still want you."

"I can't go from loving you one day to hating you the next, Chakotay, you know that. But I need you to accept me for who I am. You used to before, but now, you're challenging me. I haven't changed for anyone Chakotay, not for my father, not for Justin and certainly not for you."

"I'm not asking you to change Kath; I'm loving you for who you are. I love you so much; I want you to be happy with me. You broke my heart when you looked away from Paris yesterday. Are you ashamed of me Kathryn? Is that it?"

"Ashamed of you?" Kathryn looked straight into Chakotay's eyes, "Never."

"Then why did you look so shocked?"

"I guess things were going too fast. There I was, old maid of the Delta Quadrant one day and happily-in-love-teenager the next."

"You weren't upset?"

"I was only upset we didn't have a chance to explore it further," Kathryn walked up to Chakotay and laid her hand gently on his cheek, "I want you too, Chakotay. Don't you ever doubt that."

"One step at a time, eh?"

"One step at a time." She melted into him.

TBC…


	13. All's Well In Paradise

Anymore

Written by: Kay of Sherkay

Pairing: Yes you guessed it! J/C. But if u have read this far u probably already knew that!

Disclaimer:

A/N: ok so I'm going to go from Serious to all sappy again! But hey I cant help it! I am a single 18 year old you know! If I cant have my own love life I might as well mess around with someone else's non-existent love life! And who better than J/C?

A/N2: Thank you for all your reviews! And Sher, im glad u r feeling better!

Chapter13: All's Well In Paradise

2 months, 3 days, and 6 and a half hours. That's how long they had been together. Well if you wanted to get technical about it they had truly been together, 7 years, 2months, 3 days, and 6 and a half hours, but who wanted to be technical about things like that?

Chakotay had a big night planned and all Kathryn could think about was how long it had taken for them to finally make it. She pulled out the letter and read it,

_**I know you probably don't want to hear any of this. I also know you'll tell me to get on with my life. That's why I have to take this chance and not let it pass by. If you truly love someone Kathryn, you should say it before the moment passes you by.**_

In the whole 2 months since they have been together she never really told him she loved him anymore. Which of course he never told her either, although she knew he did just be the look he had in his eyes for her. But ever since the night they decided to take it slow, it was almost as though they were on Voyager again, First Officer and Captain again.

Oh yes sure she got a kiss hello and one goodbye, but as he told her in the letter you need to say it before the moment just passed by. She had to tell him. Tonight.

Kathryn arrived at Chakotay's 2 hours later.

"So what's the big surprise Chakotay?" she asked as he kissed her cheek softy when walking in.

" I made us some dinner. I hope you brought an appetite." Kathryn chuckled.

"For your cooking? Always!" He pulled her seat out and poured her a glass of wine. Then after seating himself he served her a helping of the salad.

Half way through she cleared her through and looked at him. "So what was so special that you wanted to talk to me about?"

He looked up from his plate and a blush spread across his face. " Well Kathryn," he said as he stood up and walked around to her, " We have been together for 2 months now. I know we staid we were going to take it slow but, Kathryn, I love you! I would be so honored if you would be my wife."

Tbc……….. take it away Sherr!sorry i left u hangin like this!


	14. Yes, No, Maybe, I Don't Know Can You Re...

Anymore

Written by: Sher of Sherkay

Disclaimer: Paramount owns all things Trek.

A/N: Kay ALWAYS leaves me with the GREATEST cliffhangers! I'll do my best anyway, I wasn't expecting this… LoL… wish me luck.

Ps: Long title ain't it… sorry, couldn't help it, my mum's downstairs watching Malcolm in the Middle on the tele.

Yes, No, Maybe, I don't know – Can you repeat the Question? 

"Your wife?" Kathryn echoed. She wasn't sure how she should react. She knew she loved Chakotay, she knew without a doubt that the word that should be on her lips was 'yes' and yet, there was that uncertainty. Kathryn had never been uncertain. Even as a captain, making command decisions, she was never doubtful. When Chakotay and the crew had mixed feelings about the alliance with the Borg she had known for sure that she was doing the right thing. Uncertainty wasn't something Janeway dealt with regularly.

Then again, it occurred to her, she had felt uneasy about being the catalyst for the reason the Maquis and Starfleet were stuck in the Delta Quadrant. Uncertain if they would forgive her, but she reminded herself, she hadn't felt doubtful about blowing up the array, just about its consequences.

Chakotay watched her reasoning with herself. She probably didn't know it, but she did it often. Usually on the bridge, it took her a couple of seconds, although it was taking that much longer it looked no different from usual. He tightened his grip on her hand, but she didn't seem to realize. Hurry up, he tried to tell her. Strange, he didn't anticipate her rejection, but he knew it was coming.

Kathryn felt Chakotay squeeze her hand. He had never pressured her before; she refused to believe he was doing it now. 'What's stopping you from saying yes?' she asked herself. Justin. Mark. Jaffen, the images raced through her mind. She had loved them all, but hadn't they all been copies of Chakotay. She remembered wishing Justin has more depth and feeling. Wishing Mark had been brave and courageous, wishing him to tell her when she was out of line. And Jaffen, he looked so much like Chakotay. She remembered when she'd first met Chakotay on Quarren, when she didn't know who he was. She had felt such a stirring in her, felt the strong need to apologize to him, to look for an excuse to talk to him and whenever she was with him, Jaffen was forgotten. Then, when she looked at Jaffen, she saw Chakotay more and more there, the same build, the same gestures. She shook her head.

"I've enjoyed our last two months together Chakotay," she said testily. Like a child trying to take its first steps. "And I love you, don't doubt that." She ran her hand through his thick black hair and then caressed the side of his face. "I like those little kisses you give me when you leave and your hugs when you say hello. I like the way you say my name, as though for you it holds so much meaning, but isn't that just a starting point, can make the huge leap from that into marriage?"

Chakotay dropped her hand. Kathryn was still talking, but he wasn't listened. She'd said no. He had set himself up to fall again and yet, Kathryn seemed unfazed, as though it was a reaction she had been expecting.

"But I've been known to do many reckless things in my life," she said wryly, "So I'm going to say yes Chakotay."

Once again her hand was in his.

"Chakotay?"

But Chakotay wasn't listening.

TBC….


	15. Yes, No, Maybe, I Don't Know Can You Re...

Anymore

Written by: Kay of Sherkay

Disclaimer: nope; no way; nada; none…we don't own 'em

A/N: took a while for me to write this I know…. I cant drive and mom wouldn't bring me to the library! Hope you enjoy!

Yes, No, Maybe, I don't know – Can you repeat the Question? Part 2

Chakotay sat there, not even noticing Kathryn's hand in his. She had said no and that was all there was to it. He was a fool to think she would want to marry him. But he would make it through this regection as he did all the others.

The question was, could he do that to Kathryn? He loved her so much, could he really go and find himself someone and crush her like that? He remembered the look on her face after every one. Kellin; Riley; Seven… he couldn't do it again.

For Kathryn the minuets dragged on like hours. Did he not hear her? Didn't he mean it? Why wasn't he answering her? She squeezed his hand once more.

"Chakotay?" she called again, " are you ok?"

Chakotay cleared his throat " Yeah I understand Kathryn. Its ok." Kathryn was confused.

" What are you saying Chakotay? Do you not want to now?"

"Want to what Kathryn? You already said no."

Kathryn gasped, " Chakotay, I said yes didn't you hear me? I want to marry you! "

Tbc

A/N: Sherr I am so sorry I keep leaving you hanging likme this but I am having a serious case of writers block these days! Please forgive me folks!


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